Articulating Arbitrariness..

I had a strange thought…… I don’t remember when it struck to me…I might be dreaming or lost in thoughts or may be I was watching an IPL match or watching Balakrishna’s or Jr NTR’s movie or may be I was upset/angry at some one/something. I am not sure but when it did I felt like Neo after he finds that he is in matrix and also like Archimedes when he discovers the principles of Buoyancy (excluding the part where he ran through the streets naked). Former because it made me feel vulnerable, frightened & intimidated and the later because it was so simple and yet it took quite a while for me to realize this.

There were numerous signs all along which would lead to this conclusion but it never occurred to me that things can be boiled down to this logical extension as it was far-fetched to be true. But when you do connect the dots the result would be much scarier than Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag and would leave you feeling more hopeless than Door-Dharshan channels (if you still remember them and yes, they are still running). The signs are all present everywhere; a party with building a temple as their main agenda-a party for separate state formation-a part for separate country formation-a chief minister unveiling her own statues with public money and that too when she is still alive-realty shows-balakrishna and Jr. NTR’s movies-parties promising free stuff in elections-populist policies-baba’s-dynasty politics-people taking to streets when India wins a match against Pakistan as if India has recaptured PoK-people fighting for reservations rather than rights-people who think that Bandh is the only means to get attention…the signs are ominous but the conclusion is not that forthcoming.

If you are still wondering what the conclusion might be, It is that most of the problems we face today is because of Democracy!!!!!. Not democracy per se but the basic idea/assumption behind it i.e. the hope that majority of the people know what’s good for them. I think that this assumption is a serious limitation and it warrants a considerable research. If democracy is of the people, by the …..blah blah…. then people(or majority of people) should be responsible for this mess we are in. If you are still not convinced let me explain…have you ever wondered why are many corrupt politicians are reelected….did you ever wonder why people take to streets only if when they have issues with films, cricket, religion, caste, region, reservation….why do film makers still make shitty movies…why do the sensation/entertainment /TRP driven news channels thrive….why do dynasty politics still exist….

All these make me wonder whether people really know what is good for them or are majority of population morons. If the present system of democracy continues where decisions are based on vote bank politics rather than greater good, people would soon find out that even the soul of Satya Sai Baba (which is believed by many of the devotees is busy in Japan quake relief work and also finding a mortal container for his next avatar) cannot save them. One thing is evident in the present system; a vociferous minority is stronger than a silent majority.

In the end let me make few things clear to you all; I am not against any guy who is a moron, as he is free to be whatever person he wants to be but only when they are in majority or can influence a decision that affects me and I am not suggesting that this is the end of Democracy but merely pointing out that this system is only as good as its ‘majority’ people.

Stay tuned…

Carpe Diem!!

Democracy-Politicians Perspective

Democracy-American Perspective

I have little knowledge in Marketing but I really think IPL should be included in the marketing management syllabus in all B-schools not just in India but also abroad. Because the gentlemen’s game was never conceived to undergo these radical changes to please not the audience but the sponsors. It took nearly a century to introduce colour jerseys in cricket until one man has changed it all and he is Lalit Modi. Regardless of allegations against him i demand the government to felicitate him for his efforts to go extra mile to please various stakeholders (read sponsors) involved. In fact he can be invited to give lectures to students and professionals.

What IPL has changed:

• Firstly, cheerleaders…one more reason to attract audience to stadiums. But currently few teams have male cheerleaders or whatever they may be called!!!…yuck….
• Until then commentary was only about game but in IPL since everything is up for sale, now a bowler can be ‘DLFed’ and a fielder can take a ‘Karbonn’ kamal catch which can be a ‘citi’ moment of success. And if things are not going well you can take ‘maxwell’ strategic timeout (which was introduced to air more ads)
• More female anchors… welcome move until they talk less of cricket
• Create strong support to teams by including local players. Examples include sreeshant in Kochi who was never in playing 11 after the first game and Saurav Ganguly who was offered a job to dress as a mascot and dance with cheerleaders to attract more Bengalis to stadium
• Collar mikes to fielders. Had been a good idea until SRK lost his cool and exploded with multi lingual expletives at his underperforming team in last edition of IPL
• Provided employment to many Bollywood stars at least delayed the process where they would otherwise has to force themselves to judge realty shows

I have a few ideas which are yet to be implemented:

• The gap between two innings can  be called Kit-kat break
• Buy out players name .i.e. ‘VIP’ Tendulkar, Rahul ‘Fevicol’ Dravid, ‘Hot wings’ Sreeshanth, ‘Navaratn’ Dhoni, ‘Saffola’ Powar, Partiv ‘Amul’ Patel, ‘Head and Shoulders’ Malinga,  ‘Kamasutra’ Warne, ‘LIC’ Ganguly(you never know what happens)..etc.
• Other franchise owners should also offer to bare their upper body like SRK in case their team wins especially King’s and Royal’s
• All sponsors should be allowed to display their products in ground especially Kingfisher Airlines and Royal Stag which were previously limited to cars and bikes

I think other sports should also adapt these changes. Tennis can have cheerleaders, ace’s can be called Ferrari ace or FedEx ace or Red Bull ace…may other sports are not as creative as Indians/administrators of IPL or may be they don’t need them and if they don’t need them do we really need them???….

When asked to comment Navjot Singh Sidhu who usually thinks that he is a character in Shakespeare play rather than an Anchor responded “Change my friend is like a marriage, you have to do it even if only one of you is happy after it” and when the female anchor who was evidently puzzled asked him to clarify “Fate my dear woman is like a tide..either you ride on it or get drowned..fate does things to you which you may not like it but have to face it to stand the test of time my dear lady” he replied in his usual self. The dazed anchor proceeds to give ‘Apex Ultima’ weather report scratching her head….

Stay tuned…

Carpe Diem!!   

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